Yellowing Paper
by ultranaff
Summary: UPDATE: CHAP. 7 ! What happens when Walter begins to become accepted among his bullying peers? FIRST EVER BEANO FANFIC!
1. Always in Trouble

Yellowing Paper

o-o-o-o-

**Authors Note: **I'm sorry, but where the HELL are all the beano fanfics? I may be a sexy young woman but it doesn't mean that I don't think the beano is possibly the best comic in the entire world. you all feel the same too. admit it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the beano, but maybe I'll work for them someday.

o-o-o-o-

**Chapter 1: Always in Trouble**

o-o-o-o-

Dennis swung his legs beneath his desk, groaning out loud and constantly looking over at the clock. On a couple occasions he kicked Walter, the meek, thin and pale young boy who was unfortunately seated in front of him. Accidentally of course.

"Ow! Sir sir!" Walter squealed, his hand shooting up in full view of the teacher.

The old, weary man attired in traditional black cloak and motorboard snapped his chalk against the blackboard with gritted teeth. "WHAT Walter?" he demanded through an expression so terrifying that Walter cowered back in his seat.

"N-nothing."

"Good. Now..." he prattled away with his mathematics lecture while Dennis gave him another harsh kick with his heavy shoe. "DENNIS STOP IT!" he squealed in a whisper.

Dennis just smirked and leaned forward, "stop what? I didn't DO anything."

He just sniffed, adjusting his spectacles and turning away from the burly and terrifying boy. Dennis just never seemed to express any form of sympathy for anybody at all. "You're so mean..." he mumbled.

"Oh boo hoo." he sneered, "try growing some balls Walt."

"DENNIS!" roared the lecturer, waving his broken bit of chalk at him angrily. "why are you interrupting my lesson! Do I have to send you out again for the_ fifth_ time today!"

To be honest, Dennis wanted nothing more. He smiled pleasantly, reached out, and gave Walter a heavy smack against the skull, causing his glasses to fall from his thin face and onto the floor. "MY GLASSES!" he squealed franatically.

"THATS IT YOU LITTLE BASTARD! get out now!"

He gave the teacher a pleasant fuck you as he shifted his strong bulk out of the chair, stepping on Walters glasses on the way out.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Irritated as always, Minnie's dad stormed through the house with a newspaper in his hand and fire in his eyes. He clutched onto his trousers, his belt undone and toilet paper trailing from his shoe. "MINNIE!" he roared, "MINNIE GET THE HELL OUT HERE! WHERE ARE YOU!"

He stomped through the kitchen, "I KNOW you put laxatives in my tea again, you BRAT! Get out here so I can give you what you deserve!" He waved his rolled up newspaper around threateningly, but there was only silence. He retreated into the garden to search further, unbeknown to him that little Minnie was hiding beneath the sink he just passed.

She slowly opened the door, stifling giggles as she crawled out. The adolescent's hair was messy and red, matching the color of her rosy cheeks. She slid out the kitchen door and behind her fathers back who was hollering her name out to the neighborhood.

She burst into laughter once she reached the first corner, falling to the floor on her knees, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I-I I'm SO FUNNY!" she snorted. It was too bad that there was no one to appreciate it. Taking a break between laughter, she checked her watch, noting that school had gotten out. Where the hell was Dennis?

Removing her beret and scratching her mop of red hair, she looked around, half expecting him to appear out of nowhere with a water pistol or catapult aimed directly at her. Unfortunately, a gabble of younger kids crossed her path, but that was it. Deciding he was being held after school, she figured the right thing to do was to go help him, after all, he was her best friend.

So quickly she went that she didnt' even see the skinny little nobody. "OOF!" she grunted, her ass hitting the asphalt. Walter just wailed, and then blinked in fright to realize it was Dennis's female counterpart.

"S-sorry Minnie." he stuttered .Her brows twisted into a sneer, "Not as sorry as you're gonna be!" she took a step forward, but before she could make her move he fell to his knees, sobbing. 'DON'T MINNIE! PLEASE!"

Surprised, she blinked. "what?"

He crumpled to the ground. "Please don't hit me today! I can't take it anymore!"

The girl was confused, and she rubbed her chin as she studied in the pathetic pile of blubber. "Walter... whats wrong? I always beat you up. It's almost like a daily ritual. " She cocked her head and smiled sweetly, "so cheer up and let me beat the crap out of you"

"NO!" he wailed. "This is the most terrible day of my life. I've broken my glasses, I've got bruises all over my legs, and my parents are going to get a DIVORCE!" Tears slid down his cheeks rapidly, and he wiped his nose with his sleeve, looking more childish than ever before.

Minnie just stood, stunned, "Wait... your mum and dad? They gonna split up?" she repeated, trying to understand the seriousness of his words. It was certainly something strange to hear, no one has ever gotten a divorce in Beanotown. Kids run wild, parents are abusive and citizens are terrorized daily by the strangest characters ever known to man, but Beanotown was still a place where modernity was at a standstill. There was only one black individual in their community (think of the kid from Ball Boy), Teachers still wore motorboards, and no one had ever _divorced._

Of all the people for it to happen to, why Walter? "Um... its ok." she patted his back, not quite sure how to go about comforting him. His cries just worsened and all of a sudden she felt something strange muster up inside of her. Could it be genuine human compassion? She shivered at the feeling.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Dennis leaned his head against his hands, sinking further into the chair as the boredom got more dire. He was once again the only child in detention, being watched over by the miserable teacher he had pissed off. Dennis didn't really count on being held after school, he just figured they'd send him home. Now it was 3rd hour and he couldn't stop thinking about how wrong he was.

All of a sudden, a flash of his best friends face caught his eye. He grinned and she smirked back, making a face from behind the window. _Help Me,_ he mouthed, motioning towards his teacher who's nose was buried in a history book.

Minnie allowed her white pet rodent to scurry through the crack in the window and directly towards the mans feet.. It gnawed cutely on his hairy ankles, which caused the teacher to freeze and then leap out of his chair with a squeal.

"Whats wrong?"

"A m-m-muh- moOUUUSE!" he screamed, balancing on the chair and wrapping his cloak around his legs girlishly. "H-H-H-HELP ME Dennis! FOR GOD SAKES!"

He smiled. "Who would have thought you were scared of a stupid little mouse sir."

"D-Dennis! PLEASE!"

He rested his chin on his thumbs, "Interesting. You want my help. And yet you're keeping me here for another 2 hours. Hm..."

"Oh come on boy!"

"Very very interesting..."

"OH FINE! Just get the god damn mouse and you're free to go!" his knees knocked together, as his face paled at the sight at the diseased creature. "HURRY THE HELL UP!"

"Lets cut down on the language sir." He tutted, neatly picking up the mouse and letting it scurry into his pocket. "He's so cute sir. Do you want to pet him?"

"NO! NOW GET OUT!" He shot an angry finger towards the door, and Dennis left with a big, smug smile.


	2. Footy

**Chap 2: A nice game of footy**

o-o-o-o-

Dennis stomped out the building and into freedom in his usual gruff manner, and we greeted by his smiley, red headed best friend. "Minnie." He simply said and kept walking.

Scowling, she scurried up to him and nudged him sharply. "Oi! is that all the thanks I get?"

"tough menaces like me don't say thank you'' he replied with an air of superiority. Minnie simply scoffed, her feet pacing quickly against the concrete schoolyard. "Oi! Slow down! Dennis!"

"Why?" He stopped and spun on his heel, facing the tiny girl. She folded her arms. "We're waiting for a friend."

"What friend? You' don't have any friends!"

"Piss off!" she snapped, duly sickened by snide comments and glances of disinterest. "WALTER. Get out here!"

All of a sudden, his little head peeked out from the side of the large school building. Dennis broke out into a grin and cracked his fist. "Ah brill Minnie. I knew you'd cheer me up. A good duffin' is all I need-"

"No Dennis!" she stepped between them. "Walter is hanging out with us today."

"What..?" understanding remerged on his face. "ohhhhh I get it." He winked at her. "We're 'hanging' out with him today?"

"Dennis. When I say, hanging out. I actually mean, hanging out, I don't mean kickin' his face in" She sighed, as his eyes bore pure confusion. "Walter is coming with us to play football… in the park."

He blinked "Why."

Throwing her hands out, she felt exasperated, as if reasoning with a child. "Cant we just be… NICE for once?"

And he scowled so deeply and so cruelly that even Minnie nerves were set on edge. "No."

Seedy little Walter stood shivering a couple feet away from them, as if missing layers of insulation in the middle of a freezing winter. His body ached from poor anxiety. Minnie couldn't help but feel sorry for him as he and her discussed the possibility of socializing with him, but Dennis seemed to really not care. "Why would we actually play football with a weed whose legs weighs less than the football???"

"DENNIS!" she screeched, losing all patience and dragging him away by the arm and out of reach of Walters hearing distance. "Listen you bastard." She hissed, yanking him by the collar, "we're playin' footy with Walter because he's having a really tough time at home right now and he has nowhere else to go." Dennis swallowed hard, staring directly into Minnies fiery gaze. "u-uh ok."

"And we're going to be nice to him. Got that?"

"Got it." He replied obediently.

"Good." She let go and Dennis straightened himself up, and cleared his throat. "Alright then. Come on."

Walter looked up and squeaked in surprise, and Minnie motioned for him to follow as Dennis already made his way outside of the gate doors and onto the street. With uncertainty, he stood to Minnie's left as Dennis led the way on her right and they headed down the pavement and towards the Beanotown park.

The sun was out and people were scattered out on the street, bustling towards their own adventures. The trio passed a couple kids that were kicking cans against a garage wall. They motioned to Dennis. "hey! HEY DENNIS! MINNIE!" the blonde one called out.

"Alright Ball Boy. " he nodded. "Alright Benjy?"

'Yea" They grinned. You two comin' to the footy game tomorrow? Its us versus Bash Street."

"Wouldn't miss it." Minnie replied, knowing full well that the game would be anything but professional and the Bash Street kids would turn it into a full out wrestling match. She smiled sweetly. "Good luck."

"Yea. It should be fun." Ball Boy replied

Dennis broke out into a laugh when they parted. "They're really STUPID, aren't they?"

"A-are they?" Walter dared to squeak, and Dennis's eyes narrowed. "Yea Walter. They have no chance. Bash street kids are just going to beat them into submission."

He looked confused, "Then why are they playing?"

"Because they don't know that." Minnie explained.

"So…" he scratched his pale forehead with the tip of a delicate finger. "Why don't you tell them….?"

"Because we want to see it." Dennis snapped. "God Walt, don't you ever shut up?"

"He only said two sentences!"

"Minnie, why are you stickin' up for hi-" he was about to go on, but her raw and angry glare shut him up. Luckily, they had reached the park at that point. He headed for the largest oak tree and jumped up to a branch, reaching into a hole and removing a ball. "Hah. Knew it was still there." He tossed it down to Minnie and she deftly bounced it with her head.

"Alright, so whats the score now?" the ball went from her head to her knee and towards Dennis, who caught it and dribbled it around her, showing off madly and she couldn't help but smirk. "I believe it was around 6 to 2, you had 2."

"What!" her smile disappeared as her jaw swung open. "Are you completely mad? I got 7 goals!"

"You cheated." He replied simply and she growled and pulled her sleeve back, ready to give him a punch until Walter stepped in. "Um. Why don't you two just start over?"

They looked at him, as if they had forgotten he was there. "Alright." She shrugged, "the score is nil-nil. Walter, you can be in goal."

A wind blew softly through the trees that surrounded them. Her hair was vibrant against the green of the park, and Walter squinted slightly. "I-I don't know how to play."

"Oh bloody hell." Dennis's eyes rolled.

"Really?" she blinked. "But you're a kid. What else would you do?"

"I-I don't know." He adjusted his glasses. "I like to sew, I suppose…. and knit, and help my mother around the house-"

"Look Walt. Can you just shut up for a minute and listen. Footy is easy. It's a bloody easy sport. You just kick the ball into the net and make goals." Walter stared blankly and Dennis sighed. "Look. I'll show you." Dennis threw the dirty ball to the ground and kicked it to him. "Just stop it with your foot."

Walter blinked at it as if it was a radioactive. "It's dirty!" he jumped back before it could roll against his polished shoes. And Dennis smacked his head. Minnie giggled slightly, but covered her mouth so Dennis wouldn't see. "Here Walter." She gently took the ball and kicked it towards him. "It's not going to bite. Just stop it with your foot at least."

He did so, and Dennis took it. "See. Now bounce it on your knee." Walter was about to protest but a glance shot from Dennis shut him up. He threw it on his knee and tried to bounce it but, missed and fell on his ass and into the mud. Dennis roared out with laughter and Minnie's smile increased.

'I'm DIRTY." He wailed only to get a mudball slapped directly at his face. Dennis grinned. "See, mud doesn't hurt."

He sniffed, wiped the mud away, and then dared to scoop the googy brown substance in his hands. He looked at it, he looked at Dennis, and then he threw it directly at him.

There was a moments shocking silence, followed by Minnie's roaring laugh. "HE GOT YOU RIGHT IN THE SMACKER!" she giggled so hard that she collapsed to her knees. Dennis, shocked, wiped it away and glared directly at Walter. Trembling in the mud puddle, he looked a sight - his hair sticking up like weeds, his glasses perched diagonally on his face, and pastel blue shirt now sticking with twigs. He was stiffened, ready for the retaliation and was surprised when he realized, that Dennis was also laughing.

o-o-o-o-

**Authors Note**: Oh goodness. I haven't updated in a while have I? Can you believe its 5:20 in the morning? I just decided, an hour ago, that I want to update. So I did. And now I still haven't slept and other people are waking up for a morning jog or something.


	3. Cannibals

**Chap 3: Cannibals**

o-o-o-o-

Sore but exhilarated from a muddy game of footy. It was now dusk and the evening air dried the dirt on their clothing, but for once, Walter didn't seem to care. He talked rapidly, his face flushed. "That was so enjoyable! I got a goal I got a goal!"

"Yea good job Walt." Dennis laughed, smacking him on the back and causing him to lose his balance. "Who knew you had it in you?"

"I was so awful at first, but I think I got the hang of it. Did you see me when I kicked it all the way to the other side? Did you? God. It was so fun!" He clapped his hands giddily. "So BLOODY FUN!'

Walter continued to gabble as the three children limped back to their respective homes. Minnie parted early, as her house came before the two neighbors.

It wasn't until they had reached their houses, Dennis realized Walter had fallen silent. "Uh… you alright?"

Walter nodded, his black muddy hair flopping in his face. He clutched onto the fence tenderly as he pushed it open. "Thanks for not picking on me today." He smiled

Dennis shrugged carelessly but threw him a small smile before he disappeared into his neatly furnished house. It showed up his own house that was just as common as the others on the street, except for the fact that it was partly destroyed in some areas from various antics.

Striding through his own front yard, he was immediately hurdled to the ground by an excited and yapping Gnasher. "OW hey boy!"

"GNASH GNASH!"

Dennis pulled him off and ruffled the fur on his head. "What do you mean where I've been? I was playin' footy."

"GNASH!"

"With Minnie… and Walter."

"GNASH GNASH GNASH"

Dennis thick brow narrowed. "Can't you feed yourself? He strode into his house, his pet following meekly behind. His dad was relaxed in the easy chair, with a beer in his hand, watching tennis, while his mother was in the kitchen, slicing out coupons.

"You really shouldn't talk to your dog like that out in the street, people will think you're not right in the head." His eyes never deterred from the TV. Dennis rolled his eyes. "Ok, thanks dad."

"Alright love?" His mother smiled, folding up another coupon. "Food is in the microwave."

"Thanks." His glanced quickly to the left and the right to make sure no one was watching, and then he gave his mother a quick peck on the cheek.

0-0-0-0

It was another beautiful sunny in Beanotown and adults and kids had gathered in park for a match between Ball Boy's team and Bash Street Kids. Dennis had showed up with Minnie, and they grinned side by side as the ref went over the rules.

"Ok. So no kicking. No punching. No teasing. No calling names. And no" he glared directly at Plug, "No pulling faces."

The ugliest boy in the entire world smiled sweetly and nodded. Danny, the leader of the Bash street kids stood with an air of authority before Ball Boy, whom just smiled and extended his hand. "Good game. Good luck."

His face twisted into a cruel smile. "Yea. Good luck."

And once the whistle blew, anarchy ensued. Dennis and Minnie, and everyone there, cheered and jumped in excitement.

"What did I miss? Oh. Oh god!" Walter squeaked as he watched the match in terror, "This is inhumane."

"Yea, isn't it great!" Minnie giggled. All of a sudden the whistle shrilled sharply through the court, the first one in 30 minutes. "TIME! INJURY!"

It was Toots, the only female of the entire class, a petite little thing but usually tough of nails. She was on the floor, clutching her face. "I'm fine" she insisted but tears squeezed out of her eyes nevertheless.

"I'm s-sorry Ball Boy breathed. "I didn't mean to kick a _girl_ in the face"

"Why should it matter?" she snapped, but Danny jogged over nevertheless and helped her up. "You alright?" they could hear him mutter and she nodded but moved her hand, blood revealed to be all over her face. "It's alright. I just need a napkin."

"FINISH HER!" Minnie yelled.

Danny frowned and pulled her away by the hand, while the rest of the bloodthirsty crowd booed and moaned, their mood only elevated when the Ref blew the whistle, ordering for the game to commence anyway.

Dennis and Minnie bounced up and down, yelling and screaming as if watching a boxing match, and Walter mumbled something about going to check on Toots before edging away from the horrible blood fest.

They were seated behind the changing rooms, Toots held an icepack to her nose, the blood cleaned off her face. "I could have kept playing." She moaned, but Danny cut her off sternly. "No way."

And she glared miserably at her feet, neither of them noticing Walter approach them. "You alright Toots?" he asked nervously, and both their faces shot up with a surprised look. "

"Walter. What are you doing here?" Danny blinked

"Dennis and Minnie invited me." He smiled nervously, while they exchanged confused expressions. "Really?" they said simultaneously

"Y-yes." To be honest, although Walter was still beginning to feel easier around Minnie and Dennis, he was still terrified o f the Bash Street Kids. They reminded him of cannibals, ready to fight and beat anyone if it would make them laugh.

Danny's expression was firmly fixed on Walter, as if he were a father carefully supervising his daughters date. Often he took on that role of authority and responsibility, since he was self appointed leader of a roaming back of wild dogs. Toots on the other hand, while gently dabbing at her nose, grew a beautiful, pleasant smile that made her face look so pretty despite the blood and grit. "Thanks. I'm alright"

Walter blinked, surprised, not sure he had ever seen Toots smiling ever, especially not at him. She turned to Danny. "Maybe he could sub for me?"

And then to Walters even further surprise, he saw Danny blush deeply. It was an astounding sight. All of a sudden, individuals whom he thought withstood the test of fear and violence were displaying real human emotions.

"Yea right." He muttered.

"N-no thank you." Walter back away and she laughed softly, in a girlish kind of a way. "You're alright, Walt."

"thanks…?"

"I don't know why we always pick on you" she nudged Danny softly, unlike the way Minnie smacked against Dennis. "Do you know why?"

"Because he's soft?"

"Maybe… but so are you, really." She teased and Danny's frowned intensified.. "Shouldn't you be talking less and icing your nose?"

"Oh bloody hell, sorry _teacher_." She winked at Walter, "He likes to think he's teacher."

Danny folded his arms and looked away, ignoring them, as if he were too adult for the conversation. Walter found himself blushing deeply as Toots large pretty eyes bore into his. "I-I'm sorry about your nose"

"Ah its alright." She shrugged. "I've gotten worse than this. I don't' know why its such a big deal to him." She motioned to Danny, who frowned. "Toots. Shut up and ice your nose."

Suddenly, Dennis and Minnie appeared out of nowhere, "Oi Walter." Dennis yelled. "Get to steppin' the game is over." He looked over at Toots. "Haha good game Toots. You can't even handle a bloody bleedin' nose can ya?"

"I bloody well CAN!" she snapped. "Danny wouldn't let me play."

"That's right, because you're just a stupid girl." He laughed, knowing full well that it was the greatest insult one could bestow upon a person like Toots. Danny held her back before she could leap up and beat the crap out of him. "Oi, calm down Toots, he's only kiddin'!"

Dennis and Minnie shared cruel laughter as they walked off, pulling Walter along with them.

o-o-o-o-

**Authors Note**: HELLZ YEA! New chapter! I'm so productive.


	4. Revenge

**Chap 4: Revenge**

o-o-o-o-

Walter decided it was kind of fun having friends. Usually he hung out with his little dog Foo-Foo or perhaps his mother, but he wasn't really use to the kind of social interaction that Dennis and Minnie were a part of every single day. Although it was a violent, cruel interaction, it was still good to have friends nonetheless.

"I can't believe that Ball Boy lost 5 teeth!" Minnie grinned, as she kicked a can towards Dennis, he caught it expertly and then crushed it with his large heavy foot.

"Yea, it was brilliant to watch"

They three children were hanging out outside of the local grocery store. Walter sat on the curb, playing with his feet, while Dennis disappeared to go grab a comic book. Minnie took a seat beside him. "So how's things between your mum and your dad?"

He gave a small smile, his spectacles balancing off his long narrow nose. "It's ok. They still fight a lot, and they sleep in separate rooms."

"When they going to get divorced?"

"They're in the middle of signing papers. Dads trying to find an flat to move into in order to get…readjusted"

"Huh.." She began nibbling on the tip of her thumb, in deep thought. If anyone seemed to the have the perfect home life it was Walter, after all, his parents had the 'perfect' son. "I'm sorry Walter. I had no idea."

"Yea. He was fucking his secretary."

She blinked in shock at what he just said. Never would she have imagined that he would put something together so bluntly. "Wow."

He shrugged. "Its ok… Hey Minnie?" She looked at him kindly, for the first time ever. "you're not just being nice to me because you feel sorry for me are you?"

"Actually, yea I am."

"Oh." He looked down and she smiled. "But you know what, you're actually pretty alright." She nudged him playfully.

"Toots said that too."

"Did she now?" Minnie grinned. "she must fancy you"

"What!" Walter became flustered all of a sudden, his spectacles heating up with embarrassment. "W-why would you say that?"

"Oh I'm just kidding Walter, lighten up."

"Oh" he readjusted his glasses, "Ok good, because I don't fancy her. I think Danny does anyway."

She blinked at the juiciness of this new information. "Really? Why would you say that?"

"W-well. I don't know. I don't want to gossip-"

"Wow, this is brilliant!"

"What's so brilliant?" Dennis hovered over them, holding a comic book and a large ice cream in his hand. He looked large as his figure blocked the afternoon sun.

"Walter here says that Danny fancies Toots" she squinted up at him.

"N-no, I didn't say that at all. I said I think maybe there's a possibility…"

"really?" A cruel thought seemed to wash across his face. "There's also a possibility that we can make his life a living hell."

"Yea! That's what I was thinking!" Minnie also had an equally vicious smirk on her face. "We can get back at him for the time he convinced the police that it was you who set the basement of the school on fire."

"It bloody wasn't. It was HIM" he growled, tensing his grip on the ice cream. It cracked slightly. "Oh no." he moaned, and handed it to Minnie.

"Yum, thanks!"

There seemed to be an ever constant battle between Dennis and Minnie and the Bash Street kids, Walter noticed. He decided to stay silent, but Minnie prodded him even further. "So why do you say that Walter?"

"Oh.. I don't know."

"COME ON" she demanded, and he tensed. "Well, I don't know, he blushes at her a lot, and-and he held her hand when she got kicked in the face."

"hm, ok. That's not enough proof. Sounds like we need to make some stuff up." Minnie reflected as her little red tongue flicked around the ice-cream.

"but… why is it a big deal? W-why do we have to-"

Dennis cut him off "BECAUSE Walter. Simply because it would embarrass Danny to no end, do you have any idea what it means to be considered a softy? especially someone like him? All the kids would lose respect for him."

Minnie grinned. "Now that's revenge."

Walter bit his lip, recalling that he had been called a softy on numerous occasions, and a feeling of resentment settled in while Minnie and Dennis discussed plans on how to sabotage the reputation of Daniel Deathshead.

o-o-o-o-

Now Danny had always been a nice kid. Tough in his ways and sometimes downright scary when he had to be, but unlike Dennis and Minnie, he was one of the few that didn't seem to fight for mere pleasure, but only when he had to.

He had never actually picked on Walter, even when everyone else was. Sometimes, he had even helped him out of sticky situations like when Wilfred and Fatty were ready to give him a beating for accidentally running into them and knocking their lunches onto the floor.

"That was my LUNCH" Fatty wailed. Wilfred's brows narrowed over his turtleneck and he took a dangerous step forward. "You're in trouble!" he growled. But Danny intervened.

"Leave him alone, it was an accident." He ordered with an expression set in stone, "he did you a favor, those lunches are disgusting anyway." and of course, they backed off, mumbling apologies. Walter supposed that's what he admired most. Danny had the power but he didn't corrupt it. Unlike Minnie and Dennis whom seemed to enjoy running havoc through the streets daily and influencing other kids to do the same.

So these troubling thoughts stirred over Walter's head when he walked home from an afternoon of helping Minnie and Dennis conjure up plans. He felt compelled to do it. He wanted friends.

He reached his house and tiptoed through the pathway. Dennis didn't walk with him this time, he went over to Minnie's house to toss around some more devious ideas. So alone he was, creaking himself through the front door. His father was asleep on the couch, the opera was on, and he was still in his business suit, snoring away.

Walter guessed his mother was asleep upstairs. It was always noticeably quiet or terribly loud at his house lately.

o-o-o-

Authors note: I notice that everything I write correlates with my current mood at the time. Right now I feel angst, so I'm writing angst. Tomorrow I will be a far better state of mind, and the humor will return. PROMISE.


	5. Complex Relationships

**Chapter 5: Complex Relationships**

o-o-o-o-

"Are you kiddin' me?"

"Oh shut it Minnie!" Dennis snapped. It was another new day. The sun was out, the birds were singing, and Dennis and Minnie bickered loudly on the side of the street.

Walter just loitered around, waiting for it to end. Walking back and from school every day was almost officially a ritual now. No one hassled them about the fact that a Softy was hanging out with the Menaces, and if anyone raised an eyebrow, Dennis just raised a fist.

Dennis was raising a fist now. His uni-brow deeply drawn, his lip was curled into a snarl while Minnie just screeched at him, insulting him with her sharp cat tongue. "Listen thickhead-!"

"Who you callin' thick head?!"

"You heard me! You're like a bleedin' caveman! No brains! Just a big fat overlapping forehead to store your little pea brain-"

"Say it again GIRLIE!" he sneered, taking a threatening step forward.

Walter noted how often they fought and how casual it all seemed after all a while. In a sick way, it was like their little waltz.

Suddenly Minnie punched his eye in. Momentarily stunned, Dennis reeled back and returned the favor, and before Walter had even registered, a brawl had exploded before him.

Punches flew, hair was pulled, dirt went flying. To be honest, Walter didn't even know why they were fighting exactly. Dennis said something stupid last night and Minnie wouldn't let it go.

"Erm. Excuse me." His bony body shook as they fought deeper, harder. He raised his voice. "You two." Again, they paid no heed, so Walter, with a strength that came out of nowhere, stomped his foot down and barked. "HEY!"

"What?!" They screamed simultaneously. The dust had cleared and Walter could see Dennis had Minnie pinned to the ground, their faces covered in dirt, heaving angrily.

"Perhaps you two should stop fighting."

"WHY?"

"Because the Constable is coming this way." And sure enough, in the distance, the local bobby was strolling down the street, whistling a nonchalant tune. Dennis growled down at Minnie, gripping her angrily, not wanting to let her go just yet. But she stuck her tongue out. "Gerrof!"

With a reluctant grunt, he pulled himself up. "Good look out Walt." He muttered, brushing himself off. Suddenly, Minnie kicked his shin in. "Ow!" he screeched, grabbing his sore spot. "Low blow you MINX!"

"Too right." She snapped and snootily helped herself up. "Cmon Walt, we're going to school today. Forget this total and complete _wimp_."

His eyes blazed at this, but Walter noticed him suck in his rage and exhale it back out in a stern glare. "Whatever. GO then." Walter was immensely impressed by his passive aggressiveness, and a little unnerved at how similar it was to his fathers.

Sure enough, Dennis stomped away and Minnie snatched her beret off the ground, angrily wiping it off. "He's such a oaf."

"Why were you two fighting this time?"

They fell into a walk "Because he's a rude insensitive idiot and I'm too good a friend for him." Walter nodded, knowing what she said was true, but she was missing the part that she was a fiery, short-tempered minx. "I mean, I'm _such_ a good person, you know?"

He nodded again, knowing it was safest.

"All I do is help him out when he's in trouble, get in trouble with him, _make_ trouble with him." She shook her head. "And all he does is brag about what a trouble maker he is."

"Well." He delivered a soft grin. "He is Dennis."

"Too right. A big headed, conceited bully." She sniffed, folding her arms. "You know what he said to me last night?"

"Eh?"

"He said that I was _changing_. That I was becoming like all the other girls. Can you imagine that, ME?"

Walter adjusted his spectacles. "Why would he say that?"

Her shoulders fell. "Because, last night, we kind of came to the conclusion that the best way to humiliate Danny would be to send him a kissogram. And then Dennis said we could save money by getting some poor stupid girlie to do it."

Walters brows raised. "You mean, get someone to kiss him. In front of the school?"

"In front of the ENTIRE school!" She grinned devilishly. "It was such a good plan. But then stupid Dennis joked that it should be me, and then I accidentally told him that I already did-"

"Wait. What?"

Minnie sighed. "Don't tell anyone yea? We did a quick kiss after the school nativity play last year."

Poor Walter looked terribly confused. Here he was thinking that he finally had everyone all figured out. But the rule book, for being a menace vs. a softy was suddenly flipped over.

Minnie shook her head, her fiery red hair tumbling around her face. As boyish as she acted, she was actually quite feminine, with soft features. 'Honestly, I kissed Danny because, I don't know what any of that mushy stuff was about! It was a one off! We just thought it would be a good idea and I didn't think it was really. But try explaining that to bleedin' Dennis."

The scowl returned. "He was being so mean. He just went off in this stupid huff, and wouldn't stop saying awful things. He was acting like a stupid BABY." She folded her arms and looked down mournfully. "Like he always does. An everyone thinks she's so tough."

Walter patted her kindly on the shoulder and they walked the rest of the way to school, patiently listening to her unweave her sad tale of her complex relationship with Dennis.

And when they reached the school gates, the person of all contempt was already there. He kicked the ball over, Minnie kicked it back, and before he knew it, they were playing a friendly game of footy.

For Walter, it was an astounding sight to see two people so immersed with each other that they would forget people, events, arguments, within mere seconds.

And it was at that moment that Walter finally understood them, even though neither Minnie or Dennis hadn't quite yet.

o-o-o-o-

Authors Note: Ok, the nativity play I'm on about is the 20 page special by Mike Pearse, when Bash Street put on a Nativity Play and its just this big ridiculous disaster. It was published in… 2003? If you know what I'm talking about then I could just kiss you!


	6. Misery Loves Company

**Chapter 6: Misery Loves Company**

-o-o-o-o-

Authors Note: I'm so excited! I just order myself a bunch of beanos off ebay and they all happened to have the Bash Street Singled Out comic strip. That's the only reason I read that comic anymore, especially nowadays, when all the art has gone to shit and they've introduced so many crap characters (Robbie Rebel, what the fuck?)

-o-o-o-o-

The bell shrilled, commencing lunch. Danny yawned from where he sat and lazily turned to Spotty. "How long did I sleep for?"

"The whole math lecture." Spotty chuckled, scooting out his desk. "Did you have sweet dreams?"

They marched out the classroom and filed in a hallway brimming with students. "Not really," Danny rubbed his eyes. "I dreamt that I was running away from a huge avalanche of rocks, and then out of nowhere, a huge bolder crushed me-"

"Oh-oh. Trouble at 3'oclock." Minnie and Dennis lurched through the crowd, their venomous scowls shot squarely in Danny's direction.

As they passed, Dennis slammed against his shoulder, sending him flying and then merely grunted an apology as he carried on his way. "You can't let him treat you like that!" Spotty gave Danny a hand up.

"It's better to let it go." He narrowed his eyes. "Trust me."

Everyone in the school knew the large burly figure of Dennis the Menace was well equipped with a short temper and a love of cruelty. Danny was the only one who ever stood up to him. But lately, even Danny could sense there was something bubbling inside of him, something intense.

Now Danny wasn't an A-student, but he was a thinker and an observer, and between him and Minnie, there was some definite tension. The two would burst out into arguments every 5 minutes, and when they weren't arguing, they were attached to the hip.

It was weird. It was a frustrating for them both. There was some obvious unresolved conflict.

Danny supposed the worst thing to do was get in the middle of that. And he shook with fear a little every time he remembered the kiss he and Minnie shared at the Navity Play.

And he could feel Dennis shooting dagger glares at him every so often. Did he know?

It was too horrible to even think about.

-o-o-o-o-

The lunch hall was bustling with the sounds of loud chatter and clanging cutlery. The rest of class IIB were already seated at their usual table, Olive the school cook dishing out discolored goo that must have been the chicken soup special.

"Looks vile." Plug groaned while Toots nudged him delicately. "A bit like your face"

"You know, I don't really appreciate that kind of humor."

"Who's joking?" She snorted, immediately being met with a smack against the head.

"Oi. Lets all calm down eh?" Danny ordered as he and Spotty approached the table. His gang of loyal friends looked on at him expectedly. "What?"

"So how do we dodge out of eating lunch today?

"I don't know." He sat down gruffly, grabbing a head of hair. "Listen. Just leave me alone. I can't tell you what to do all the time."

"Dennis put him in a bad mood." Spotty explained.

"He's being a right bastard lately." Wilfred shook his head. "Just stay well away from him."

"I plan to." But the words came out too soon, because as if on cue, the same two people, as well as Roger, Pie-Face, Curly and some others had gathered around. Through gritted teeth, Danny's eyes furrowed. "god dammit. What do they want now?"

Dennis sauntered over and slapped a note down, right in front of Toots face. "What's this?" she barked and Minnie merely grinned. "We found it. In the boys changing room. Lookit."

She uncrumpled a pink sheet of paper, with the words scrawled on.

"_Dear Toots. Be my valentine. All my love. Danny."_

Little hearts framed the message, and the signature was Daniel Deathshead trademark skull and bones.

The color drained from her face, as Sidney poked his head in. "What's it say?"

-o-o-o-o-

"I didn't do it, honest!" Danny yelled as Sidney smacked him square in the eye. Sidney had yanked him outside by the collar and threw him into the dirt. Danny struggled to reason with him but there was no point.

He could only fight back and eventually they were scrapping furiously on the school yard, as students whom gathered around cheered and roared in blood-thirsty encouragement as they pulled hair and punched each others teeth out. Minnie and Dennis were screaming with laughter while Walter, whom meekly stood by the sidelines, groaned at the twist of guilt in his stomach.


	7. Who Needs Enemies?

**Chapter 7: Who needs Enemies?**

-o-o-o-o-

**Authors Note**: Ok, go read the new Beano fanfiction, 'Chalk and Cheese' It looks like its going to be good.

Secondly, I've realized that I only return to fanfiction for two reasons. 1.) Someone writes a really good fic that inspires me. 2.) My life gets uncomfortable and I need to escape into something that technically has no standing in the real world. Fanfiction, for example, is not graded, is not judged, and does not really affect me or others in anyway. It's the neutrality of it that gives me peace

But anyway, I'm rambing. It's rather late, 4:17. Couldn't sleep. The love of my life is in Europe. Bastard.

-o-o-o-o-

The next couple days were awful.

"DANNY!"

"Eh?" He turned around was instantly met with a punch to the face. Slamming against the floor, Sidney hovered over him, his nostrils flaring, his eyes dark. "I thought I told you to stay away from my sister!"

Danny was completely unaware that Toots was all the way on the other side of the playground, but Sidney had now insisted that Danny now must maintain a 2 mile distance.

"If you know whats good for you!" he barked, Spotty by his side. "Yea you bleedin' softy." They both stormed away.

"What the hell." He groaned, massaging the sore spot on his face. So this is what had become of him, Sidney wanted him dead and his classmates no longer respected him for turning into a "softy'. It was the golden rule in Beanotown, to survive you had to be a tough menace, and liking a girl, was anything but tough or menacing.

He had lost all his status and strength in a couple days, within a tiny little note.

Minnie and Dennis had burst into another fit of giggles, as they watched from the other end of the school yard. They were getting along better than ever, Walter had noted.

"You know what I don't understand." Walter picked his nails. "Why has Danny stopped denying that it was his note? I mean, he only said once, at the beginning, that it wasn't his, but now, he's just kind of…." He gestured to Danny's fallen figure. "given up."

"That's because it _is_ his note."

Walter's jaw dropped. "Y-you mean, you didn't forge it?"

"Naw." Dennis waved a hand, "We were going to get someone to kiss him, but after PE the otherday, I found it crumpled up… on the floor."

"You mean his jean pocket." Minnie smirked. Dennis cackled. They both seemed to bond over other peoples suffering. "Who knew he was such a bleedin' softy?"

Walter scowled at this. It was all so ridiculous, the cruelty that these kids enforced on each other. One minute they're friends, the next minute they're enemies.

"I think its awful what you two did."

Dennis eyes narrowed, and he leaned in a little threatening. "You mean awfully clever."

He decided to be brave for once, and with a little nervous shake, he got up and walked away from Dennis and Minnie.

"Cmon." Danny blinked, darting a suspicious glance at the friendly hand on his shoulder, but he caught Walters kind smile and relaxed. Gobsmacked, Minnie and Dennis watched from the distance as Danny and Walter retreated back into the school building.

-0-0-0-0-

"You should know that Dennis and Minnie were planning something against you for a week now."

"I figured as much." Danny sighed. "I just didn't think they would do something like _that. _Dennis is just upset about me kissing Minnie,"

He pushed the plate of peas around with a fork. They were in the dining hall, where it was mostly empty now except for the occasional faculty member. Danny, cheek in palm, looked up at Walter. "and I expect you helped plan it."

"N-no!" he stammered.

"Well." He sighed. "I suppose there was nothing to plan really. I had this coming. After all. It _was_ my note."

"Why did you write it?"

"Oh I don't know." He looked away, his face getting heated. Walter never realized how bashful Danny could be. "It was valentines day two weeks ago. I wrote it out of spur of the moment."

"Do you-do you like Toots?"

"I don't know." He groaned, face in hands. "I hate being around her because she makes me feel so weird, but I hate being away from her more… And now its horrible because she won't talk to me." He said mournfully.

"I think its because she's trying to trying to save your skin."

Danny looked at Walter, with a soft inquisitive look. "Why are you bein' so nice?"

"I-I, don't know. I always liked you, in a weird way." He blushed

"even when I gave you that wedgie?"

"you always had good intentions." He murmured looking away. Danny gave him a long hard stare. Walter blushed deeper, feeling a little overwhelmed by the attention Danny cocked his head. "Walter… I've always wanted to ask you…. are you gay?"

He paused. "What?"

"You just always seemed, so … gay."

"W-why?"

"Well let alone you play with dolls and sew, but… you always stare at me."

"I-I…" his face flourished with scarlet, feeling put very on the spot. To be honest, he never really thought about it. He still didn't want to think about it. "D-don't be silly…"

Danny gave a slight, understanding nod. Suddenly, Plug burst through the cafeteria doors, his large lanky body floating through the hall. "Watch it! Sidney's on the war path."

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" he muttered bitterly. Plug rolled his eyes. "Ah come on mate, you know I didn't mean all that stuff"

"You're not my mate, you abandoned me."

"Didn't! I just didn't want to get a duffin' for hangin' around a softy is all." He shrugged and Danny shot a dark glare. "I thought we were friends, but I guess not, if its so easy to look at me in the face and tell me I'm a softy… me!"

Plug diverted his eyes but said nothing. A second later, Toots padded onto the scene, she looked a little flustered. "Sidney's coming." She muttered.

"Why do I care? I'm sitting here minding my own business."

"Oh Danny." She sighed, "Can't you just stay out of his way for a little bit? I know that you can seriously damage him physically-"

"And I haven't." he prodded his black eye painfully

"I know, and I appreciate that. So can you just stay away for a couple more days ?"

"You mean I hide while he hunts me down like an animal? That's stupid. " Toots groaned. Problem was, Danny was just as stubborn as Sidney. "…but. I'll do it. For you."

She blinked, startled at his last words before they were both distracted by Sidney's noisy entrance onto the scene. He shot an deathly glare and cracked his fist against the table, creating a loud bang that nearly blew Walter out of his seat.

Danny remained calm and composed though. "Can I help you?"

" I thought I TOLD you to stay away from my sister!"

"I have been."

"Oh don't give me that." He rolled up his sleeves, made a fist and was ready to lunge right at him.

"Leave him alone!" Toots snapped, giving her big brother a fierce push. With a wounded expression, Sidney immediately softened into a child. He massaged the sore spot on his arm. "What's your problem?"

"What's YOUR problem?! You're acting like a nutter."

"no I'm not. Danny's acting like the nutter! Sayin' he fancies you and all"

"yea!" Spotty snapped. "that's not right."

"It's not of your business you stupid thickheads" she snorted, giving her brother another angry shove. "some friends you are. You just go and drop him just like that." She snapped her fingers. "he's our BEST MATE."

Plug, whom was sitting on the outside lunch tables, whom watched the conflict between the two twins rise, threw his two cents in. "it's definitely weird. But we shouldn't be so mean to him."

'yea. Why aren't we talking to him again? I forgot." Wilfred piped up, and was met with an angry glare by Spotty. "Because he's a bleedin' softy boy."

"If he's soft, then you're powdered sugar." She spat. "He's tougher than all you lot put together."

Danny was surprised and flattered at the sight of Toots standing before the gang, with a strong stance and fists on her hips, glaring her friends down, daring them to even _think_ about talking back. And it was all in his defense.

But instead, he grinned . "You know, for a _girl_, she's very perceptive."

A smack in the face.

-o-o-o-o-

"Why did you go off like that?" Minnie shrieked grabbing Walter by collar as he exited the school campus. He paled in fear at the twinkle in her sharp green eyes.

"i-I- felt sorry…."

"for who? That stupid girlie softy boy?!" she snapped. Walter immediately gripped by frustration, tore aware from her. "Don't call him that! You sound just like Dennis!"

Dennis frowned in a offense. "What's that suppose to mean eh?" He cracked his fists in threatening manner. "Just shut up softy"

"Yea! Softy!"

Walter gave Minnie an annoyed glance. "What do you always do what he says!? You know that Danny didn't deserve that!"

"He did! He did!"

"Why do you always bully people? I know you're a nice person deep down."

She gruffly folded her arms. "Nice is soft."

"Well what's wrong with being soft!" he yelled. "Everyone is this town is always so mean to each other! My mum, my dad, you and Dennis! You've all been bullying me since I was 6 and now you're splitting all your friends up. Why is this fun?"

Dennis and Minnie blinked, a little taken aback by the spurge of words. Walter simply looked away with a sigh, thoroughly tired. 'listen, its that you both accepted me finally, but I don't think I want to hang out with you anymore."

A pained expression crept onto Dennis's face. "Why? Is it Curly and Pieface hassling you for being our friend? I already _told_ you that I've sorted them out! You can hang out with us-"

"It doesn't matter, I don't want to hang out with _you_." Another sigh. He rubbed his arms and looked at the ground. "You're all too mean to each other. I don't think I can handle it anymore."

The two friends looked at each other, immediately mournful but said nothing. So he simply walked away, alone.


End file.
